5 steps to trusting your gut to find your missing spark 

Being good to others is what makes you so great. But we need you to give more of that to yourself first. Then an even better you will impact other people.

I know so many brilliant men and women who have so much to give, and who are not totally happy in their jobs, or in life overall. People who are going through the motions, keeping up appearances and giving themselves to others more than to themselves.  

I’ve also noticed that because of that, they don’t shine in the way they could. They are good ones who care about the people around them, and they don’t really think about what might be important to them.  

Growing up in the UK, we don’t automatically learn the life skills to communicate (both to ourselves and to others) what matters to us and why. We don’t learn the tools to deal with human relations and to understand what is driving us. We end up finding our validation and sense of worth through others, and are frequently tired, confused and fed up. Sound familiar?  

Trusting our gut

As Einstein said: “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

Hearing and trusting our gut – our intuition – is a crucial step in finding our inner spark – more so than ever in our world of conflicting and competing voices and online opinions. Intuition helps us find clarity when we are overwhelmed by the views, ideas and comparisons of others, and struggling to keep everyone happy and fit it all in.  

At the core of everything is our own human needs, strengths and abilities. When these take priority, we find more of our spark, our inner calm and confidence. The noise of everyone fades and our clarity brings ease and a sense of possibility.

Our intuition is our inner compass. Without a compass, where are we heading? We’ll end up looking back and realising we lost our way.

It’s time to find your inner spark. Here are five steps to trusting your gut and bringing your true self to life.

1.   Create space and shift the focus

 Build in more time to focus your attention internally, and less time externally

We need more kindness and support of one another. But to do that effectively, it mustn’t smother our own human needs. These beautiful qualities have their place, but in complement to the true you who is getting their own needs met first and foremost. Giving to others from a full cup is far better for everyone than from a place of guilt, fear or maybe even resentment.  

It takes real, consistent and concerted effort to shift our automatic tendencies. It starts with making space in our day, to shift awareness from everything and everyone outside of us, to our inner feelings.  

Start making the shift:

  • Intentionally reduce the attention that goes on everyone and everything else.

  • Make time. Schedule it in. Remind yourself. Make yourself unavailable to anyone else for 10 minutes each day. Switch off the phone. Hide in the bathroom or go for a walk to somewhere quiet where you can sit if you need to.

  • This time is to focus totally on you, and what is coming up in your mind, why it’s coming up, and how to move past it.

How, exactly:

  • Close your eyes and tune into your breath. Follow the inhale and exhale and find some stillness. As the mind wanders, bring it back to the breathing.

  • Consider your recent interactions with others. How did they make you feel? Do you wish you had said something different? Do you wish you had said no to a request? What stopped you?

  • Build awareness in this way. Space to consider behaviours and interactions, and build up a knowledge of how you show up in the world right now.  

2.   Replace your beliefs and thoughts

We are all part of the human family - why shouldn’t your needs matter as much as other peoples?

What we think determines our behaviour and ultimately our lives. What is going around in our heads in autopilot really matters.

Having an appreciation for the fact that we are all part of the same human family, and we all have our biases, individual life experiences, learnings, can help to bring context to the reasons behind people’s conflicting views and also help us to see that we have just as much of a right to have our needs met.

Start making the shift:

  • When you start to think that someone else’s opinion or voice is more important than yours, question it, consider what is fact and opinion, and reframe the belief.

  • When you say yes to a request of your time, and it doesn’t feel 100% right for you, consider why giving the other person your space is more important than your own needs.

  • Get into the habit of paying attention to how other people make you feel. What is it that triggers you and why? What is it that isn’t getting addressed in your own life?

3.   Unattach yourself from others’ opinions, advice and views

Filter your life. Question everything.

This world of excess, information overload and unending opinions is overwhelming. Filtering and questioning are becoming essential tools to stay sane and not lost.

Start making the shift:

  • Consider the person providing an opinion, whether it is on- or offline. What is their background on the topic? Are they driven by the same things as you? Are they sharing the full picture or just a snippet? Are they an online voice and is what they are saying fact, or is it opinion based on a wide range of variables? Is it fact? 

  • Get into a habit of questioning why you are listening to others. Why you are following the people you follow online. What their influence is adding to your life. Whether it is adding to or overwhelming your life.

4.   Train yourself to feel, hear and respect your intuition

If we don’t follow your gut often, it’s not always clear whether it is intuition or something else we’re feeling. Is it always clear to you when your intuition is telling you something is wrong or right? Practicing recognising intuition from other feelings may help.

Start making the shift:

  • What’s going on? Can you name what you’re actually feeling? Is it anger, sadness, excitement? Can you tell why those feelings have come up? What do they relate to? What are they signalling? How can you hear the signal and take the right action?

5.   Clarity: what is a great life for you, and why?

What does finding your spark look like for you? What do you actually want to change in life? What do you want to replace, and what will come instead? How exactly would you like your day-to-day life to look? These questions may not come easily if we’ve been living for others most of your life.  

Start making the shift:

  • Before you go to sleep, picture your life ten years from now. How do you look and feel? What is your home like? Your friends? Your career?

  • How can you get from today’s you, to the future you? What will need to shift to get you there?

  

We can work through this systematically and clearly. I have a 4 week mini course to do that together. Find out more via jodi@jodibaxter.co.uk and start to make the real shifts towards your happier self within 4 weeks.

 

I’m always here, cheering for you.